Satellite Down is one of the choppiest and weakest episodes of the series. You might remember it… It’s the one where the Joes, specifically, Lady Jaye and Spirit try to beat Storm Shadow to salvage a fallen satellite only to be captured by a race of missing links somewhere in Africa. The primords, as they are so named in the episode, happen to share the name with the monsters from the 1970 Doctor Who story, Inferno. That story was a masterpiece, this one is not.

Among the many odd things in this episode is Storm Shadow commanding a small platoon of Crimson Guardsmen, even though this is a mission involving trudging through the hot and unforgiving jungle wilderness! Crimson Guards are like the Royal Guardsmen for the Emperor in Return of the Jedi, they’re not infantry or dogs bodies.

On the positive side, there is some subtle character / romance development. Dusty and Flint discuss Lady Jaye’s courage and we’re teased with Flint having more than professional admiration toward her. The implication is that Flint and Lady Jaye are not yet dating, or at the very early stages. This is, basically, the best thing about the episode. By the end of the episode, Flint and the Joes have been searching the jungle for Lady Jaye and Spirit and the crazy Ben Gum character for the better part of a day in which she was nearly sacrificed.

Note that Flint has his eyes open throughout the embrace. If he had his eyes closed it would look all sweet and serene, but it is actually fitting that his eyes are open given the ordeal that everyone has just been through. You may think I’m reading too much into this, but it suggests how deeply worried he was. It also suggests his profound realization of his gratitude that Lady Jaye is alive and unharmed. Could this be a pivotal moment for Flint, or both of them?

One of the weirdest moments (aside from the ape men tribe), is Storm Shadow going all Anakin Skywalker on the primord children. He grabs one, raises it over his head and hurls it into a cliff face as Lady Jaye screams at him. Storm Shadow then goes ape shit, gets a grenade and throws it above everyone to create an avalanche. Storm Shadow in the cartoon is completely mental. Honestly, it’s like he’s always a few taunts away from going postal, despite the fact he’s supposed to be this calm ass ninja. Fuck ninjas. I’m glad the show, for the most part, avoids having them dominate the series.

Speaking of which, Spirit is once again pitted against Storm Shadow (see Revenge of Cobra and Countdown for Zartan). It’s nice seeing a Native American holding his own against these Hollywood glorified assassins. However, with the introduction of Quick Kick in Pyramid of Darkness, the whole Spirit vs Storm Shadow thing is now under threat. Between Spirit and Quick Kick, Spirit is the better character. Let’s just put it that way.

Although the primords are a little too sci-fi for my tastes, what really lets this one down is the disjointed feel in the editing / directing. Some of this might be the script, but at the same time the way the story jumps during shots and scenes makes me wonder if this one over ran by several minutes and they were forced to make major cuts, resulting in the choppy end product. That however, does not excuse those damn primords.

Satellite Down *
Starring: Spirit, Storm Shadow
Also Featuring: Lady Jaye, Flint, Dusty, Breaker, Cobra Commander, Destro, Crimson Guards, Cobra Trooper
Vehicles: Skystriker, Bridge Layer, AWE Striker, Mauler, VAMP II, Silver Mirage, Armadillo, Fang copter, Trouble Bubble
Joe Commander on duty: Flint