Fast and Furious Food

redrocket07Prior to coming to America, I didn’t understand that the Red Rocket’s Glare title was a reference to the United States national anthem. I thought it has something to do with the Soviet Union being a threat to the United States during the Cold War. Yes… I was a foreign G.I. Joe fan. I didn’t know any better!

This is one of those episdoes where the executive requirement to show off several G.I. Joe action figures and vehicles results in a disjointed prologue sequence, falsely giving the impression that Blowtorch is to be the central protagonist. However, after the initial raid on the Cobra base, Blowtorch completely vanishes and it becomes a story about Roadblock and his family whose burger joint is being coerced to sell to Extensive Enterprises (Cobra). It is, of course, part of Cobra’s latest clandestine plan to conquer the United States by holding it to ransom with disguised missiles atop their nationwide Red Rocket fast food franchise.


Although it sounds goofy, it’s actually a fairly grounded plot compared to many other episodes in the series. What is amazing is the amount of Joe and Cobra hardware that the animators were able to cram into the episode. Just about every vehicle that is available as a toy makes a cameo. The only one I’m not sure about is the Mobat tank, and that’s because it’s hard to tell an Armadillo from a Mobat from a distance without a driver to provide a sense of scale.


So now we know why Roadblock became a gourmet chef! He was sick of his family’s fast food!


Although Blowtorch is only in the opening scene, his penchant for incinerating Cobra Troopers might be one reason his appearance is so brief. I mean, look at this!


This was a kid’s show, right?


Cobra’s scheme is reminiscent of the early days of the Marvel Comic. However, the Crimson Tits… sorry, Twins, show up at one point and resume their acrobatic lunacy. I get it, they are acrobatic. That doesn’t mean they are super human! Meanwhile, it’s nice seeing Roadblock get a little attention. He’s easily one of the most popular G.I. Joe characters and fortunately, he is not doing any of that awfully forced rhyming bullshit that he gets labored with in every other episode.


Overall, Red Rocket’s Glare isn’t really that bad, but I think I’m being generous to give it 3 out of 5 stars.


Red Rocket’s Glare ***
Starring: Roadblock
Featuring: Blowtorch, Recondo, Flint, Lady Jaye, Cutter, Breaker, Snake-Eyes & Timber, Gung Ho
Destro, Cobra Commander, Crimson Twins, Cobra Troopers, Tele-Vipers
Vehicles: Vulture, Rattler, Bridge Layer, Armadillo, WHALE, ASP, Stinger, Ferret, Dragonfly, Mauler, APC, Mobat, Skyhawk, Skystriker, Silver Mirage, AWE Striker, RAM Cycle, Slugger, Armadillo
Joe Commander on duty: Flint